“Reasons Hillary lost”, ranked

10. “Deplorables”

Let’s all agree: Hillary shouldn’t have said that half the nation is in a “basket of deplorables.” First of all, that’s not nice. Second of all, there are SO MANY better ways to make that point. “Basket of deplorables?!” Come on, Hill. You’re more creative than that.

In all seriousness, though, the claims that this cost her the election are more than bullshit. They are humpback-whale-shit. Trump bragged about sexually assaulting women, said a Mexican judge couldn’t be impartial because of his heritage, and threatened to ban Muslims from entering the country. And he still won Wisconsin.

9. Wall Street speeches

Oh, an intelligent, educated, experienced person gave a speech and got paid for it? WE-OOO-WE-OOO-WE-OOO CALL THE POLICE

8. “Flip-flopping” on issues

Hillary has been in the public eye for decades – and in that time, she’s expressed some opinions that I don’t agree with. However, she listened to the people she was looking to represent and changed her mind. Isn’t that what you want your elected representatives to do? Listen, and learn, and give you the opportunity to change their mind on issues? Not be so stubborn and so self-righteous that they refuse to consider any other way but theirs? Sounds like a great deal to me.

7. “Inability to connect with the working class”

Hillary released literally hundreds of pages of plans for her presidency. Among them? Plans to help the working class with things like keeping healthcare costs under control, raising the minimum wage, tackling student loan debt, and job re-training for people whose jobs are becoming obsolete.

Let’s not pretend that in 2016, “connecting with the working class” meant anything more than “being racist”.

6. Her emails

Enough about her fucking emails. The media has you covered on this one if you feel the need to read even more about it. She did exactly what every Secretary of State before her did. I bet you email people from your personal email. Her contact list is just cooler than yours.

The GOP cried “national security!” – now, they have a President who most likely conspired with a hostile foreign power to meddle in and win an American election. And what do you hear from them? Crickets. Chirp chirp, motherfucker.

5. Comey

One of the favorite places to lay blame for the election loss is at James Comey’s feet, which is unfortunate, because I think he truly does believe in doing best by the nation. That’s a rare quality lately among registered Republicans. Unfortunately, his massive error in judgment contributed to the crisis this country now finds itself in. Instead of being remembered as a strong, steady presence at the helm of the nation’s investigative body, he’ll be remembered as the guy who maybe threw the election to Trump and then got his ass fired for it.

4. Leadership staff

The team was up 3-1 in the series and lost. Before that embarrassment, they ran a race that I will not name. Suffice to say it was a wealthy centrist Democrat running for governor in a blue state, and he barely won against a crazy Tea Party Republican. I said it then, and I’ll say it now: different candidates need different approaches to their campaigns. Using the “Obama model” for everything isn’t genius – it’s sheer laziness. Don’t @ me.

3. Media

Thank you, Washington Post, for telling me that “Democracy dies in darkness.” Don’t get me wrong – I love the free press, and you all should keep doing what you’re doing. But maybe you should have covered the extensive ties that the now-President and his inner circle have to a hostile foreign power a little more in depth? Little birdies in the know tell me they tried to pitch you on this story, but you declined in favor of the “her emails!” storyline.

2. Russia

If I have to explain this to you further, you haven’t been reading my blog enough.

1. Discrimination, var.

I will admit: as a white person, I knew racism was an issue (see: Congress, 2009-16) but did not know it was as bad as it is. My apologies to those who did, and understood the backlash to come after the nation elected a black man to the White House. As a woman, however, I’ve lived misogyny – from my boss telling me to “smile more” to realizing I was being paid less than my (lower-performing) peers. Saw the double-standard coming a mile away: too emotional/not emotional enough; too angry/not angry enough; too ambitious/only famous because her husband was. Fuck all that.

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